Lost: Shaker of Salt
by KatastrophicKat
Summary: In Honor of National Margarita Day. Bella, Kim, Emily and Rachel decide to celebrate the amazing "holiday" while their wolves are out patrolling. What are the imprints up to when they return? (I know.. I made Rachel Paul's imprint but this story could not happen without him.)


Pairing: Bella/Jake, Paul/Rachel, Kim/Jared, Emily/Sam

Genre: Humor

Rating: T for insane things that don't quite make it up to the R rating and would blush at the rating M.

Summary: In Honor of National Margarita Day. Bella, Kim, Emily and Rachel decide to celebrate the amazing "holiday" while their wolves are out patrolling. What are the imprints up to when they return? (I know.. I made Rachel Paul's imprint but this story could not happen without him.)

**Tricky Raven is not the owner or profiteer of Twilight or its characters. All recognizable characters, storylines and content is the work of Stephenie Meyer** and her team. No copyright infringement intended.

Jake, Paul, Jared and Sam all let out a sigh of relief as they finished their "team building" patrol session. They had been away from their mates all day!

They all phased at the edge of Sam's treeline and started to walk through the yard when they were assaulted by loud, cheesy music mixed with the slurred singing of their imprints. They froze.

"Guys, are they slurring?" Jared asked, tilting his head.

"Why would they be slurring?" Sam voiced, instantly thinking of horrible things that could have happened. Did they all hit their head? Did they have concussions?

Jake and Paul sniffed the air and then started laughing.

Sam frowned, "I don't think this is funny."

Jake smirked, "They're drunk, Sam."

They went running through the yard towards the house, Paul and Jake bounding up the stairs with glee.

They burst through the door with huge smiles, which somehow got bigger when they took in the scene of the room.

Kim and Emily were holding each other by the arms, a very large margarita in one hand as they shuffle/dance/drank to "Margaritaville" by Jimmy Buffett. Rachel and Bella were bent over a table with crayons, moving their hips back and forth with the music as they concentrated on whatever they were drawing. Bella was pouting as they made alterations.

Jake couldn't hold in his laugh.

Bella's head shot up and she got a huge smile on her face, "Jake!" Abandoning her crayons, she grabbed whatever her and Rachel were working on and ran over to her soul mate.

"RACHEL AND I ARE MAKING LOST SIGNS!" She squealed.

Jake and Paul blinked, "Lost signs?"

Paul took the page out of Bella's hand and started laughing.

_**LOST! SHAKER OF SALT! NEEDED FOR MORE MARGARITAS! Reward: One Cheeseburger in Paradise.**_

Both men stared at the page for awhile before they burst out laughing.

And they laughed... And laughed.. And laughed..

Meanwhile, Bella and Rachel were upset because they thought the boys were laughing at their beautiful poster... So Rachel kicked them both in the shin and dragged Bella upstairs with her to the spare bedroom.

Emily and Kim stared after them, their dancing stopping. Wordlessly, they took all the large margaritas, the pitcher and the salt upstairs after the two.

Jake sighed and ran a hand through his hair, "So apparently, they regress mentally when they drink."

Paul rubbed his leg where his mate had kicked him, "Why did she kick us?"

Jared snorted, "You hurt Bella's feelings. Rachel and Bella are tight now guys. You can't hurt her feelings without making Rachel reeeeeeeeally mad."

Jake picked the paper that had been forgotten off the floor and looked down at it.

He smirked, "Hey Paul, let's find their salt shaker."

Using their amazing smell abilities, they located the forgotten shaker under the couch and looked at it.

Bella and the girls had apparently decorated their lovely shaker. They had glued googly eyes to it, taped feathers on it, and given it cotton balls for boobs. In short, they had transformed their salt shaker into-

"What the hell did they do?"

Jake noticed writing on the bottom and held it up to read. He barked out a laugh, "It's name is SKWA.. Spelled S-K-W-A.. Instead of S-Q-U-A-W."

The men quietly laughed, fearing the women hearing them and seeking vengance in their drunken state.

Jake motioned to Paul and they went upstairs, carrying "Skwa" with them. Paul knocked on the door, "Rach? Babe?"

The door flew open and there stood Rachel Black, fire in her dark eyes. Bella was standing behind her trying to hide. Jake sighed at her "hidden" form, wanting nothing more than to reach out and comfort her.

So he held out the little salt shaker, "I think I found your friend, Bells."

Bella squealed and pushed past Rachel to grab "Skwa" and hug Jake. "Thank you! She was losted!"

Jake simply smiled and kissed her gently on the forehead.

Paul turned to Rachel with a smirk, "I believe you owe us a Cheeseburger in Paradise."

Rachel gave him a smirk of her own and slapped a drawing in his hand of a cheeseburger with arms and legs, reclining on a lounge chair with it's own margarita.

He sighed and hugged his mate tightly, "I love you, you crazy drunk woman."

Meanwhile, Bella had pushed Jake up against the wall to show him exactly how grateful she was to him for finding her salty friend... Who was currently peeking out of the back pocket of her jeans, eyes swaying with the movement of "her" carrier.

_**Wastin away again in Margaritaville. Searching for my lost shaker of salt.**_

_Just something fun I thought I would do in honor of the insane day honoring an alcoholic drink. While I personally don't like margaritas, I would like to dress up a salt shaker.. Only if the pepper could have an identity too._

_Thanks for reading my insane ficlet!_


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